We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
love makes seman taste better
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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