dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
