so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
