Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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