Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
