it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
