yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
