there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
