i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
