My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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