About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
