I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize