i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
