I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize