Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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