I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
