i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
