Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
