well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
