i just google imaged poop.
This house was built for laser tag.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
