I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
