CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
