You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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