quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
