Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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