I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
