I am in a vortex of obligation.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
