I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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