With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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