you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
