I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
