I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
