FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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