Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
