you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
