You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
