I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
