If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
