i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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