His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i don't like sucking hair
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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