If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
