Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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