I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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