so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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