Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
