Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
