I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
