I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
