I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
