Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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