Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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