This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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