Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
