this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
