What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
