Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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