Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
